Was That Will Farrell Wearing a Huskies Helmet??

Do you remember the days when parody was reserved almost exclusively for Saturday Night Live and other humorous sketch TV shows?  I do.  It hasn’t even been that long ago. 

I’m sure most of you have noticed, however, that it has engulfed pretty much every major North American sport except basketball.  And let’s face it…the NBA is better when the only teams that make a shit are LA, Boston, Lebron, San Antonio, and Dallas, anyway. 

I remember watching NFL Primetime when I was probably 10 years old and hearing Chris Berman ending an upset highlight reel by saying, “And THAT’S why they play the game!”  It has now gotten to the point where that’s how I feel about once every hour and a half on college football Saturdays, and at least twice every Sunday.  College football has gotten more and more ass backwards every year for several years now, but it’s just out of control now.  It’s week 3, and think about what has already happened.  Ohio State damn near lost to Navy.  BYU came to Texas and beat OU (and don’t play the Sam Bradford getting hurt card, either.  They would have won that game had Jesus Christ himself been under center for the dirty Sooners.  So BYU is pumped, right?  They crack the top 10, by far the roughest game on their schedule has a W next to it.  So…they celebrate by getting shit on AT HOME by almost 30 points by an unranked team.  USC forgets to take the field against a piss poor Pac-10 team for the 74th consecutive year.  Oklahoma State is relevant for the first time in decades and they celebrate by losing to Houston.  Texas, who everybody has already penciled in to play for the national championship against Florida looked quite pedestrian tonight against Texas Tech, who might end up being the 3rd worst team in the Big XII when the season is said and done.  It just goes on and on. 

I’m not complaining, mind you.  Saturdays are now infinately more fun knowing that when the day is over there will have been at least three major upsets.  Well, until it happens to Texas anyways.  Then I’ll just sulk for a couple of weeks.

But I digress.  What’s my point?  Let’s get rid of all polls, rankings, lists…any and all ordering systems for college football teams until week 8.  It’s just nonsesnse to do it any sooner than that.  When the new AP poll comes out around noon, it will be #1 Florida and #2 Texas.  Fine.  But if you have watched the games the two teams that have CLEARLY played the best football thus far are…Miami and Ol’ Miss.  Or perhaps Miami and Bama.  One way or another, it’s ridiculous to be trying to rank these teams even now, much less before the season starts.  So please, lets just stop.  K? K.

I’m pumped for some NFL week two.  Some bigtime early season games on tap, such as NO-PHI and NYG-DAL.  I’m looking elsewhere for my NFL fun this week, though.  Sticking with the parody theme, I’ve got a couple of outlandish upset specials.  I have done nothing but piss all over Jake Delhomme for approximately 4 years.  So it makes perfect sense that I would go and practically guarantee that the Panthers are going to beat Atlanta, who as I’ve made exceedingly clear I am very high on.  Also, go ahead and look foreward to the Bengals heading into Lambeau and taking down the Packers. 

Seriously.  You heard it here first.

And when Delhomme tosses 9 more interceptions and the Packers win a 20-3 snoozer, feel free to come here and mock me. 

End.

Various Things

As you doubtless have noticed, I have once again been mysteriously absent for a while.  For that, I truly do apologize.  However, in fairness, I had to move from Lubbock to Frisco.  Once I arrived I was without internet for five days.  Then I had internet for a couple days and my network card pissed its pants and I was without internet for another 5 days (thanks, long holiday weekend!).  Now, though…I am settled.  I am connected.  And god knows I’ve got some free time on my hands, so you’ll be hearing plenty from me in the upcoming weeks, hopefully. 

So, first things first.  The long awaited NFL season has finally graced us with its arrival.  And what did we learn?? 

1.)  The 2nd of my five bold predictions is going to come to fruition in a hurry.  Good god is Jake Delhomme terrible.  I’ve been screaming about what a joke he is for like 3 years.  Nobody listened.  Everybody sure seems to have noticed now.  I realize nobody really has much reason to watch the Panthers unless they’re playing your team, but little hints (and sometimes big hints) about Jake Delhomme’s terribleness have pervaded for years now.  It is not a phenomenon curious to Week 1 and that playoff game last season.  Just take my word for it.  He will be an NFL starter for no more than 3 more weeks. 

2.)  Dallas might be 12-4.  They might also be 7-9.

I really want to keep going but I just can’t get over Jake Delhomme.  His stat line yesterday?  1 of 46, 23 yards, 9 interceptions, 5 lost fumbles, sacked 16 times.  I mean, I didn’t look those up, I’m just guesstimating.  I mean, it couldn’t have been MUCH better than that, anyways.  Accurate enough for me. 

That’s about all on the NFL I’ve got.  There’s no real point in trying to draw TOO many conclusions from Week 1.  And there’s no real point in just providing summaries of what happened.  We know what happened.  I’ve got something more exciting to share, anyways. 

I live about 8 blocks away from the Dallas Stars training facility.  Training camp opened up yesterday, and it just so happens that all of their practices are open to the public.  But not only did they practice yesterday, they opened up camp with a lively scrimmage.  No way was I missing out on that.  I felt like a 7 year old on Christmas morning.  For an hour, I was mere feet away from the greatest American hockey player to ever grace our little planet.

Jared,  I saw your comment on my last post while I was disconnected from the world via email alert on my phone.  It was difficult to respond that way.  I had actually already thought about hitting that game up.  At the very least I’m sure I’ll have some friends coming down to it and I’ll head over and do some tailgating and what not.  It will also hinge on my Thanksgiving plans.  If I recall it’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Just let me know what you might be planning as it gets a little close, and I will do likewise. 

I’ve got a few things brewing for this blog, but that’s all for now.  I just thought two or three of you might like to know that I am, in fact, still alive. 

End.